Money Guilt - important signal or something to be overcome?

Many of us have deeply ingrained stories and emotions about money that influence our financial decisions, often without us realizing it. This is why I created a guidebook to help you uncover the beliefs that may be shaping your financial life. (Uncover your money blocks) What you believe about money impacts how much you have and how you interact with it.

For me, money guilt is a familiar emotion. It’s easy to think of guilt as inherently bad, but like all emotions, it serves a purpose. Guilt signals that we are not living up to a certain standard—sometimes one we’ve consciously set for ourselves, and sometimes one we’ve unconsciously absorbed from others. When the standard aligns with our values, guilt can be constructive. But when it comes from unexamined societal or cultural conditioning, it can hold us back.

The key is not to get stuck in guilt. I’ve noticed that when I dwell in guilt, I hesitate to set bold goals, advocate for myself, or fully embrace financial success. It was hard for me even to write this blog about guilt because that's what guilt can do—it can silence us and prevent us from stepping into our truth.

One way to work through guilt is through reflection and writing the thoughts down on paper. This is a powerful process because once you get the thoughts out on paper, you can see them as separate from yourself and you can realize that our thoughts are a choice. We don't need to believe them and instead we can choose over thoughts that serve us better.

Since emotions are caused by our thoughts, uncovering our guilt helps us see the beliefs behind it. We often resist guilt because it feels uncomfortable, but the way forward is to allow the emotion in our bodies. Take a deep breath, release it slowly, and notice where guilt manifests physically. For me, it feels like a weight in my throat and a churning sensation in my stomach.

Once we allow ourselves to feel guilt, we can process it and identify the thought behind it. This is an

important step in mastering money instead of letting money master us.

When Money Guilt Serves Us

Guilt can be a helpful guide when it alerts us to behaviors that don’t align with our true values. For example, if I create a spending plan but later make impulsive purchases, guilt reminds me to reassess my decisions. In these cases, guilt can serve as a cue to course-correct and align with my financial goals.

To use guilt constructively, we must define our financial standards intentionally. How do you want to relate to money? What goals do you want to pursue and prioritize.

When Money Guilt Doesn’t Serve Us

For me, there are two key instances where guilt becomes unhelpful:

1. When I take over-responsibility for others.

   • I believe in uplifting others, but that doesn’t mean carrying their burdens for them. If I try to fix someone else’s financial situation, I deny them the opportunity to grow. True support empowers rather than enables.

2. When I try to control how others perceive me.

   • Sometimes, I feel guilty simply because I imagine someone—often my father—disapproving of my financial choices. But other people’s opinions of me are not my responsibility. As Byron Katie says, “Other people’s opinion of me is none of my business.”

Money, Faith, and Stewardship

As a Christian, I recognize that we are following very high standards and that can lead to guilt. One area where I feel this is in our collective failure to be good stewards of the Earth. Jesus spoke more about the proper use of money than about prayer, emphasizing the importance of responsible financial stewardship.

However, guilt alone is not a solution. The Serenity Prayer captures this beautifully: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Instead of staying stuck in guilt, I focus on what I can do—being intentional with my money, making sustainable choices, and giving generously in a way that empowers others rather than enabling dependence.

Moving Forward

Guilt is simply a signal. It’s telling us that we aren't living up to a standard, but we need to make sure we have consciously set that standard for ourselves. This is how we determine whether the guilt is guiding us toward a meaningful change or trapping us in self-judgment. By increasing our consciousness around our thoughts, and using money as a tool in our lives, we can move from guilt to empowerment, making financial choices that align with our deepest values.

I’d love to hear from you—how does money guilt show up in your life, and how do you navigate it? Let’s continue this conversation in the comments or on social media.